Are You Wrestling or Resting?

I am going through so much contemplative stuff recently. You know, that kind of time where you just sit before the Lord. So recently I turned off everything and did just that. Sat before the Lord. Now realize, for me, it rarely means being quiet for very long. I have LOTS of questions. Always have. Just ask my mom. 

“God, what about???? God have I???? God should I????? God help me see..... God how can I do what you call me and be so vilified??? Am I really expected to perform like a puppet from a little box that I have NEVER fit in? God???? I have no answers Lord, so I will rest in YOU.”

This is never easy for me. I can DO 40 things at once and be comfortable BUT resting is a different matter. I LOVE hearing from God but do not appreciate (like I always hear I should) resting in Him. To me it feels like I am moving backwards. I feel stagnate and I usually end up taking a nap. I always feel better after though…..

Several people have really hurt me lately---and yet none of that causes God to slow down. My reaction and/or attitude can make a difference but we are in end times and God is moving forward. Being hurt has made me wonder how many have I hurt? Unintentional to be sure. If I know I hurt someone I am pretty quick to apologize.

Has God discarded me? It feels like He has but I know better. Yesterday I was running through the list of THINGS I have done. Good and bad, In the spirit and in the flesh Really none of it mattered, it is what God is doing that is important. In the middle of all this “resting” (sounds more like wrestling in the Spirit doesn't it?)  GOD reminded me that I am a "breaker" in the spirit.

I have had several “words” along this line but it was in 2009 that I finally understood what that meant.  I break hard ground, I break icy hearts, I break resistance in the spirit realm. Then the way is prepared for others to come in and fulfill their calling. He again reminded that I am like an ice breaker ship. It is a cold, isolated, hard calling in the midst of harsh circumstances but without it there are deaths. 

God will do what He wants done in spite of man. So many people reject strong, anointed, confident Christians because they are afraid of that strength and confidence or they are competitive or jealous or....

I had a pastor tell me one time he did not “accept” me at first because I was such a strong woman and they can cause problems. I wondered how many men he had said that to! Cracked me up.

God is redeeming the time and you are running a good race----be blessed today in the midst of all the “circumstances” of life. And while you are at it—pray for every “strong” Christian you know. Make them a point of intercession both today and often and reap the results of that intercession in your own life. 


Check out Psalm 55--it is subtitled Betrayal by a Friend