I
married a man who proclaimed to be a Christian. I did all the right things. We
counseled with his pastor (I had just moved to a new city and had not found a
church). I asked all the right questions. I watched. I prayed. I fell in love.
I sought God. I got married. . I am a Spirit-filled Christian. No matter what
your “theology” is, no matter what our differences are, you cannot deny that I
love the Lord and I know he loves me. And yet, I still found myself divorced, full
of shame, alone—wounded. My family loved me but I was so covered with shame and
so rejected by the church that I confused even my own family’s love with obligation.
Sometimes God’s love for us is clouded, as it was here—and yet in the midst of
criticism, shame and pain there came that voice, that loving voice, that voice
I follow, that voice that calls to me continuously.
John
10:27
27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.
That voice that lets me
know I am loved in the middle of judgment, condemnation, insecurity,
inferiority and shame. Those hateful, critical words that are arrows into the heart
from the ones who should love us the most…
Romans 15:5-7
5 May
the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among
yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus,6 so
that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the
God and Father of
our Lord Jesus Christ.
7 Accept
one another, then,
just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
The thing that struck me the most during this time of
healing and restoration was not only the hateful critical words of the body but
the arrogance of people who judged me with an iron hammer without mercy.
1 Corinthians 3:11-20
11 For
no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus
Christ. 12 If
any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay
or straw, 13 his work will be shown for
what it is, because
the Day will
bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the
quality of each man’s work. 14 If
what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. 15 If it
is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one
escaping through the flames.
16 Don’t
you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and
that God’s Spirit lives in you? 17 If
anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is sacred,
and you are that temple.
18 Do
not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by
the standards of this age, he
should become a “fool” so that he may become wise. 19 For the wisdom of this
world is foolishness in
God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness”; 20 and
again, “The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile.”
God’s love is life. Spiritual
sophistication is death. Death to you and potential death to the ones you shoot
the darts at…
1 Corinthians 4:12
12 We
work hard with our own hands. When
we are cursed, we bless; when
we are persecuted, we
endure it.
When you are wounded you have to bless, you have to
endure. If you use the same type of destructive, prideful words it becomes
death to you.
Proverbs 13:10
10 Pride only breeds quarrels…
Proverbs 12:18
18 Reckless words pierce like
a sword,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Psalm 10:2-4
2 In his arrogance the
wicked man hunts down the weak,
Do
you know someone weak right now? Someone who is under the bondage of shame?
Some who is hurting for whatever reason? Do you know someone who has been
persecuted by the church? Have you listened to the judgment of others over
someone’s life? I think everyone knows someone in one of these categories. Are
you interceding for them? Are you praying out of superiority and head knowledge
or out of the heart of God?
In
Esther 1 we learn about Queen Vashti and King Xeres. She was beautiful, titled,
powerful and wealthy—all the things people strive for. The king was “having
friends over”. Truthfully they had just celebrated his wealth and position for
6 months and now he was having a special 7 day celebration. He was drunk and
sent the eunuchs for his queen. He wanted to show her off. She would undergo
comments. She would be put on display to make him look good.
She
refused to come. She had become confident in her power. Her wealth. Her title.
She forgot that all of it came through the king. She got “too big for her
britches”. He striped her of everything and banished her.
Whose
Queen are you? The queen of your own making or are you His Queen? Does your
heart melt at His voice? Does your own voice resonate in your ears louder than his
voice? Whose voice are you obeying?
Revelation 12:11
11 They overcame him
by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony;
they did not love their lives so much
as to shrink from death.
by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony;
they did not love their lives so much
as to shrink from death.
Are
you walking in the realm of His power or in the pretense of your own power? Have
you forgotten what it is all about?
1 Corinthians 4:20
20 For
the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk
but of power.
Have
you taken a stand against spiritual sophistication or are you joining forces
with it?
Have
you checked self-importance of the throne room door?
Have
you heard you King calling his Queen?
Who is on His heart today?
Who is on
yours?